Rabbit Remanded

Police Nab Stuffed Easter Bunny with $30,000 Worth of Meth

some bunny has a secret

Published April 05, 2015

Tahlequah, OK – This stuffed Easter Bunny may be one of the strangest drug mules police in Oklahoma have ever nabbed.

Tahlequah City police on Friday intercepted the rabbit stuffed with a pound of meth, street value around $30,000.

“We’ve intercepted narcotics in the mail before,” Police Chief Nate King toldFox23 in Tulsa. “The Easter Bunny I thought was a strange touch.”

Police hopped on the case when they learned the rabbit was in a package addressed to Carolyn Ross in Tahlequah.

A police dog in Tulsa County sniffed out the methamphetamine before the package was to be delivered to her home.

The station said an officer posed as a delivery man and went to Ross’ home to give her the package.

Ross allegedly confessed to knowing about the meth and is being held on $75,000 bond.

 

1 Comments on: Police Nab Stuffed Easter Bunny with $30,000 Worth of Meth

 

Comment By: DetRexFlannagan@copdog.com
Geniuses running the drug trade. Really, 30G’s of meth keistered up a rabbit’s ass? 

 

Figured the four paws would have tipped them. I’m a K9. Police dog, the operative word being dog.

 

And dogs fucking hate rabbits. Geniuses, I tell you.

 

Anyway, we’re working a daylight swing coming up on Easter weekend, me and my partner. He wants me to call him my handler but he can kiss my hairy ass. I do all the work. 

 

So we’re on a stakeout, burning time when there it is. You know right there, soon as he shows his face, I got my eyes on the bunny, right? Can’t help it. Instinct, know what I’m saying?

 

But there’s something else. Right way, something don’t smell right. And I don’t mean aromas or olfactory or none of that. I’m talking about experience. Enough years on the job, you get a sixth sense for when things ain’t right. And don’t give me that bullshit about one people year equaling seven dog years. It’s more complex than that. Look it up, you simpleton.

 

So anyway, now I’m get excited. Really flips my switch, this drug bunny. Hackles up, my tail going all this way and that. Finally we got some action!  But we stayed frosty. We waited, let it play out and then when the time was right, we made our collar. (Personally I find the use of that term in that context offensive but what are you gonna do?)

 

Now you might ask: Was I profiling? I’ll never cop to it in court. But the world, it works in patterns. You ever come across a bunny — live or stuffed — you better look it over. Real hard.

 

Sad fact of the matter is, it doesn’t matter. That bunny, he’ll lawyer up, post bail at arraignment and be back out on the street the next day. System broken. But what are you gonna do? Like that old guy says in the Godfather Part II: “This is the business we have chosen.”

 

Still, I can’t get over it. A bunny? What will these idiots think of next? Hiding it in a squirrel? Wrapping it with bacon and a dog leash around a jangling set of car keys? Put a sign on the damn thing that reads “Hidden Dope”?
Fact of the matter is, that would be better. I can’t read. I’m a fucking dog.

 

Now tell your story walking, chief. Nothing to see here.

 

 

Crime and Funishment Archive

 

 

Never miss a Crime and Funishment by joining my mail list.

[grwebform url=”http://app.getresponse.com/view_webform.js?wid=9729702&u=1kMk” css=”on”/]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *